Trapped

I have recently discovered that I am a fat person trapped inside the body of a slightly chubby person just waiting to bust out.

Tarot at the No.10

Whilst waiting in the queue for a tarot reading at the annual No. 10 summer barbecue, I met a rather intelligent young gentleman. I knew we'd get on when he started taking the piss out of a woman with a wonky eye, who had evidently tricked him out of his turn. His enlightening conversation left a lasting impression on me I thought I'd share a few bits of our conversation.

He gave me some sound advice on how to treat bullies:
'If you punch someone and they don't go down, run as fast as you can; chances are, they're bigger than you.'

He also exhibited his impressive knowledge of world geography:
'So, you were born in San Francisco but live in California, right? Which do you like better?'

'Oh, cool! We're going to Cyprus on our next holiday. What did you think of it?'
...
'What? Cypriot? What the hell is Cypriot?'

Best of all, he shared my love of food:
'Damn, I'm hungry (begins to gnaw on chair). Hey, this is pretty good, want to have a go?'

p.s. Lillywhites

Lillywhites is this incredible sports shop that sells England footie jerseys for cheap and Diadora tennies for only £8.99! If the word 'exercise' was in my dictionary, I'd go there for all my athletic wear.

Lillywhites

I was sat in the men's shoe section today on the ground floor of Lillywhites waiting to meet a friend when I heard a chirpy little voice with a Scottish accent say hello. I wasn't sure where the voice had come from but I turned and looked up to find nobody standing there. I then looked down and realised the friendly greeting had come from a little girl sitting next to me. Rebecca, aged 7, apparently had been to America only two days ago. I later found out from her older sister that they had gone to Euro Disney, not Disneyland. It's funny that I spoke to another 7 year old not too long ago that thought Paris was in America, as well.

I don't know what it is about kids, but for the most part I find them to be so endearing. Take for example this Rebecca. She still has a very limited concept of time, place, age, etc. She told me her mum was 20, surely, because her dad was 23. You might read that and think, wow, her mum got pregnant when she was 13?! Well, not really, as Rebecca also told me that her eldest brother was 15. So actually, her mum had only recently turned 42 or something. When I told her how old I was, she looked shocked and said, "But you look so young! You look like you're 90...no, I mean 19!!!"

I found the whole situation to be quite funny. Because two seconds later she asked if I had kids, to be shot down by her sister,"Rebecca! You've just met this lady and you're being so cheeky!Say you're sorree. And don't you dare ask if she's got a boyfriend, cause that's personal!" Sure enough, Rebecca turned to me and giggled, "I'm sorree! So, do you have a boyfriend?" My sides were starting to ache from all the laughter.

It's days like this that fill me with a warm glow--nevermind that the sun sets at 4pm and it's soon to be -10 degrees outside, because I've just spoken to the sweetest little girl and laughed until my cheeks hurt.

Fortnight In London

Today marks two weeks since I set foot on British soil. To my surprise, the weather has been pretty decent the entire time I've been here, and I think the nice weather has helped me maintain good spirits, as well as lessen the anxiety of settling into a new place. Having said that, everything that you may have heard about London weather is true. It's terribly fickle and changes every 20 minutes, so I'm always either too hot or too cold.

I'm yet to do some proper sightseeing and am thinking about hopping on one of those double decker tour buses. Hah! I'm sure you can picture me clutching my granny handbag, ooh-ing and aah-ing at all the sights.

One thing that I've found a bit odd (and am a bit disappointed by) is that I haven't been hit with any real sense of awe. I don't feel like I'm in England. I'm constantly hearing tidbits of French, Italian, Japanese, etc. But maybe I'm feeling all this because I'm not really in England--London is *such* an international city that it just feels like I'm in just that. Obviously there are these great sights that make the city unique, so I guess I am just going to have to wait and see. Could this be culture shock in disguise? Surely, there must be *something* here that'll make my eyes bulge with wonder!

Faces Places

We've approached the final countdown to my last day at work. I said my aisatsu to the big M last Friday, and just as he was not here when I started working for him, he will not be here when I finish. I don't know why, but even after being fooled into thinking I was getting paid a decent salary and having my confidence level dramatically reduced, I'm still thankful that for 10 months I could tell everyone I was employed at a "prestigious" business consulting firm. And really, I guess I couldn't have asked for a better in-between Japan and going back to school job.

I appreciate being given the opportunity to experience firsthand what it's like to have to train yourself on the job and be shot down and humiliated for every effort I made to make everything as D.I.Y. and hassle free. I mean, it really helped build character. And hey, what could be better than getting paid to chat with mates when things got a bit slow? I was even able to design a personal website during my free time. Oops! Honestly though, I'm grateful to have had a glimpse of the business world and it wasn't like *all* of my skills were under- utilised.

I'm actually sad to say goodbye to some of the faces I've had the pleasure of getting to know. But that just means that saying goodbye to old faces means saying hello to new ones and in new places. I suppose I'm most thankful for the slow times at work, as it was those excruciatingly painful hours of boredom that a mate introduced a plethora of entertaining faces to me. And here, I should say thank you to all of my friends that kept me company during my long hours of work and especially to Mr. Smart for always encouraging and supporting me.

Mijikai aida deshita ga, taihen osewa ni narimashita!

You Gotta Love This

Ah, so that's what life's all about!

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What`s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you`re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you`re young enough to enjoy retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating... Then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen." ~ George Carlin, Seinfeld