From the Stars

According to Rob Brezsny, there's an odd paradox about my fate in 2005.

He says, "You will get as close to your true home as you have ever been, and yet you'll also be teased and intrigued by a provocative mystery. Let me say it another way: More than at any other time in your life, you will feel like you truly belong here--and yet you'll often be amazed at how enigmatic everything is. I'll give you one more angle on the confounding security that will visit you in the coming months: You'll have an uncanny sense of being cared for by a mother goddess, even as you keep delving further than ever before into the riddles of your unpredictable destiny."

In case you haven't caught on, Rob is a horoscope writer. I enjoy reading the stars, but am generally dubious of what horoscopes say. But for some reason I actually *have* been feeling a little more grounded in where I am, despite the holiday frenzy. Maybe because there really isn't any. It's the first holiday in seven years that I'm not worrying about what plane I have to catch or if I'll be able to stuff all of my omiyage in one suitcase (although, I will admit that I enjoy the excitement and going through hell before I finally make it home to see my family...Strange, huh?). I think it's also that I recently had a huge wave of anxiety and am finally coming down from it. It comes and goes, and then I'm better for a few weeks. I'm hoping it'll keep getting better and the waves will get smaller and smaller.